When The Soul Moves

We tend to distrust these feelings and avoid them at all costs because we are scared of being uprooted. We need to lose this fear.

Pema Chödrön, Living Beautifully

Whenever I think of you my soul moves. Not just one, but very few of you and I’m open to more coming.

Perhaps you know what I mean? Your soul can move with your mate or it can move suddenly and out of place.

In my experience, when the soul moves it’s startling.

I’ve heard parents say the soul moves for a son or daughter. Twins who say their souls move in tandem.

However it appears, know it’s the soul moving inside you.

Focus on form rather than time or speed.

Focus on the now rather than eternity.

The soul conditions you to surrender to your hunger for food.

On a much larger scale, the soul opens your eyes to truth.

I have feared the soul, its ebb and its flow. The soul is mischievous and breeds in darkness.

The soul is a sublime piece of cake in a world where we count calories.

The soul can feel sneaky and disarming and I worry about gluttony.

It’s not wrong to pay attention to the movement of your soul because  you will want more.

Become aware and you’ll be alright.

Choose the soul and you’ll be satisfied.

But know this. When the soul moves, tears fall. The life of calories ends.

That is why we need soul stretching exercises. Learn how restlessness and uneasiness are stages of the journey.

We need to practice leaning in to the soul’s yearnings and loving unconditionally.

We need schools that teach a course on the workings of the soul so we can track its course and discover the treasure.

 

 

Love in The Dark Night of the Soul

“Real love always involves a transgression.” George Bataille

It’s always important to start and end with love even when we’re conditioned otherwise. Like, how we deal with this strange heaviness about us. This dark night of the soul.

Any experience of darkness needs to be looked at with love or else we might get lost, or worse yet, eaten up alive. Even in the worst of times, we must take care to look at our current life experience as a quest for love. Self-love and our capacity to love another.

Love is the driving force in every human being. It is the life force energy. Even those things we’d rather not see, like ugliness, stealth, pain or misery—we are talking about a love journey.

Everything is under construction. Everything is exploding. There is confusion and discord. Even language, our use of words is deafening.

My husband is dead and I’m aflame. A love sick puppy. Another Black man was murdered on the street. This virus is stifling. And there’s love.

Love makes life worth living. We want to be seen and loved for who we are.  It hurts when we don’t have these two fundamental things. When love is lacking, we are bored like the devil, restless and thirsty. Sometimes, we try to let go of this notion of love entirely. This happens at a very deep personal level or it can happen in large numbers poisoning society.

There are protests and riots on the streets. We’ve been poisoned by hate, fear and scarcity thinking. We uphold rules and social norms that stifle love with its freedom and creativity. We create institutions that are limiting and then we wonder why people want to break free. Where there is no love, there is no freedom, and our souls, our humanity wither away. We see all forms of escape from this dilemma. Some want to burn the house down.

This morning I went to the store for bread with five dollars in my pocket. I greet the cashier, a dark skinned African American lady. She rings me up and tells me, $5.50. I repeat, $5.50? The prices are inflated all over the city. I take out my roll and count as if somehow I’d have enough. How much do you need? She asks me. Fifty, I say, muttering. She reaches under the counter and pulls out a small plastic bag of coins from her purse. She counts out the change and rings me up and my eyes fill with tears and I’m grateful and ashamed. I’m thinking about her brother, son or husband who could have been killed by the police. How is it possible, dear God, that under the circumstances this woman is so kind and loving?

I’m living in my own suffering and she pops my bubble with her love and humanity.

She sees me emotional and tells me, Now is the time to do these things.

 

Managing Love and Sex While Isolated

In this post, I talk about love and sexual energy with a single woman in quarantine living in Madrid, one of the friendliest cities in the world now raging with the Corona virus.

Screen Shot 2020-03-28 at 12.11.20 PMSexual energy is an essential life force concentrated in two energy centers in our body, the Root Chakra and the Sacral Chakra. The root chakra is located in the base of the spine and it relates to our feelings about survival, security and stability. The sacral chakra located in our lower belly, relates to pleasure, emotions, intimacy and trust. Love and sex are influenced by a biological impulse to procreate plus our emotional need for intimacy. For this reason, managing love and sexual energy can be challenging when we are fearful and isolated.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how people are managing love relationships and sexual energy during the Corona virus crisis. If you’re married or in a live-in relationship, being forced to spend time together can be an opportunity or agony, depending on the nature of the relationship. If you’re single and living alone, coping with built up sexual energy and love relationships can be daunting. I wonder if it’s possible to transmute sexual energy into a higher chakra, for a deeper kind of love, a compassion for others or to enhance creativity or spirituality?

Ongoing obstruction or imbalance rooted in the sacral chakra can lead to problems such as addiction, perversion, depression or destructive behavior. For this reason, exploring our feelings about love and sex is vital to our overall well-being and sustainability.

This week, I interviewed a single woman living alone in Madrid to explore this topic.

What is the hardest thing about dealing with the Corona virus crisis while being single and female living in Madrid?

The hardest thing about dealing with the Corona virus while being single and female is that in Spain we are confined completely, everything is controlled. All social relationships have been drastically reduced, we are not able to go out at all, meet people in bars, be on the street even.

How did you socialize and meet men before the quarantine?

I’m very outgoing so it’s always been quite easy for me to get to know new people. I’ve met people while having a cup of coffee or while shopping. I’ve met people in unexpected places. I love dancing so that’s one way I meet people— at dance clubs. I’ve always felt confident about my physical appearance and being able to attract men but now in isolation, I find myself reflecting on my life and being single. I’ve also been thinking about my spiritual self more, rather than sex. I’m asking myself hard questions about what matters most to me in a man and I wonder is it possible to have it all? I mean, is it really possible to have sexual attraction and also be compatible spiritually and emotionally? I’m thinking I want the whole package.

Do you have a romantic interest currently? How are you managing this relationship?

I have a romantic interest and it’s not been easy because it’s just wishful thinking at the moment. There is nothing established between the two of us, we have had only a platonic relationship. We know each other through work and now in isolation, we keep in communication which helps me feel alive. Even before the crisis, I thought about him all the time. I don’t think I’m managing this isolation very well. I get anxious. I want to hug this man or just have a cup of coffee with him. I want to be with him face to face so we can look at each other and get lost in that moment. This is my heart’s desire. We have joked about sneaking out to be together. I believe we love each other although it’s not been declared. The more I get to know him, I think he has all the perfect ingredients. I feel passion and spiritual connection and now in isolation, I spend a lot of time imagining myself being intimate with him. These thoughts keep me hopeful for the future.

How has your style of communication changed?

I’d say I’m more intense. Some old loves, men I’ve had affairs with in the past, have suddenly reached out to me during the crisis and I find this interesting. I think we are being drawn to people to figure out what matters. I find I am more dependent on WhatsApp than before, and desperately waiting for this man who I am in love to respond. That can feel frantic.

How are you coping with your sexual energy?

At the moment, my sexual energy is off. Even though it’s spring, I don’t feel sexual desire, which is strange. I find myself channeling my sexual desire into thinking about real love, sincere and genuine love.  Like I said, I’ve been thinking about this one man. In my soul I feel he knows how I feel and I think he feels the same. For now, this feeling is strong enough and sufficient because we’re stuck in quarantine. I believe that in time, when this is over, there will be a sexual explosion in my life. As a single woman, living alone, there is no expectation for a physical relationship now, although when an old flame wrote to me, I felt the temptation to see him. I even agreed to meet with him at the supermarket, but then realized that it was too risky. He showed up at the entrance of my building and I looked out my balcony and saw him. Although it was flattering, I felt like I was disloyal to the man I am in love with.

What lessons are you learning during this crisis?

I want to make sure I live a life worth living. I want to be respectful of everything…respectful of people and the atmosphere. More importantly, now I know who really cares about me and who I want to keep in my life. I want to value these relationships and live in the present moment. I want to live even more intensely than before! When it comes to love and sex, I’m learning that it’s okay to cross barriers that may seem insurmountable for love.